#and maybe a melatonin--
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I need to start going to sleep at night why Tino just told me good morning💀
#its 5am and i aint sleep yet send help#and maybe a melatonin--#i was listening to music for a while but since i literally just been laying in bed wake#i literally just idly went on my phone and opened court of darkness like oop--👁👁#yall if only Tino was in my bed rn#i think he could help me sleep#ya Rosie(stuffed unicorn) is a good cuddle buddy but i want my husband🙄#Tino could so cuddle me to sleep yall#Lynt can vouch for that#but on some real shit tho i wish i could irl cuddle w/ Tino#he looks so idk cuddly?#i bet his hugs are really warm and protective#i want that#imma try and sleep now yall#i made myself sad thinking about Tino cuddles and how hes not fucking real so imma knock out#court of darkness#tino maes#valentino maes#kay just saying shit
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“I’m sorry I said a slur it was bad” -> 30 seconds
“Tommy you are a terrible person who manipulated me, you were basically an adult anyways, I never harassed your mom and texting her isn’t weird in fact I was kind to her, you accusing me and my friends of sexism is evil (he also referenced that this was fair and they have been told they were weird towards women by other parties in HIS OWN STREAM, backtracks in the video), you love child labor, you are racist, where are your receipts, but also you were my friend and you are a good person because you used to like me at some point BUT IF YOU DONT LIKE ME ANYMORE might as well take down every time you ever interacted with me and my family because it means you never liked me and btw you are kind but also I’m not sorry to you” -> NINE WHOLE MINUTES ON A MAIN CHANNEL VIDEO + A CRASHOUT LIVESTREAM OF THREE FUCKING HOURS
Chat we are back in the fucking building again 😭😭
#dsmp#discourse#dream situation#dream#Tommy in it#I’m so sorry to my normal blog i promise I’m back to normal content like soon#but wtf#I’m gonna need melatonin#SIR IT’S MIDNIGHT IN UR TIMEZONE#crash out#not my usual content#your career is over buddy#the crazy thing is he never mentions any of the crazy stuff he said on stream#maybe delete later idk depends how funny i am#edit: i'm hilarious
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various lottie drawings ive made for @justkillingthyme bc i wanted to show them :3
#art#oc#professor layton#professor layton oc#pl oc#idk if i should tag this as friend ocs or a new tag for mutual ocs but ill figure that out later lmao#lottie burns#i love lottie sm shes so pretty#still wanna draw marshall dragging her to ikea bc i think it would be funny but when i have the time#i havent drawn much digitally latwly so my drawings are gonna be doodles for a bit i thinks#ill draw better lottie content I PROMISE I JUST NEED TO GET BETTER I NEED TO HEAL TO DRAW MORE LOTTIE#anyway the melatonins starting to kick in maybe inshould. sleep#my art
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Why must the medication give me other mental health issues. I trade the Big Sad for the No Sleep and it gives me more Big Sad
#mayhaps it might be best to switch medication who knows#bones rants#anti depressants u have failed me#I can’t take melatonin bc I tried a bunch of shooters with twin to try to find out what types of hard liquor we like and I don’t wanna#absolutely destroy my liver that’s a big no no#I shall simply wait till the eepy and yet my hands are so so so much so in pain bc I’ve yet to sleep and they need a solid 8 hours of rest#before they won’t hurt for the entire next day (maybe. solid 25/75 chance it’ll help)#Augh owchy#fuck it I have some edibles and those normally make me sleepy so ig that’s what I can take. gn
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Thinking about how we meet Sebastian and he’s instantly like, “I want to bring you home to meet my family.”
Damn boy…chill. That’s a lot of pressure on me. This is moving a little too fast. Don’t you want to know my favorite color before you take me across the map to your family home to meet your dying twin sister that means more to you than anything else in the world?
#he’s SO intense#maybe think the idea over for a few days before inviting a stranger with ancient magic around your vulnerable sister#would it be rude if I asked him to take a melatonin before talking to me?#if I had to describe him with one word it would be passionate#and one word for my Mc would be overwhelmed#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow
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Fire and flames and torment
#I better not see a damn hastag ppeterick tag istg;#/hj#melatonin kickin in#fucked UP tonight#but yeah hugging :(#I love hugs and cuddles and warmth and comfort#a beautiful embrace..#they were two shooting stars that collided#and they burst into something beautiful#fababoi….#fall out boy#fob#art#my art#fall out boy fan art#patrick stump#pete wentz#fobcn#fob cn#also I think the filter made Pete’s skin tone too dark maybe#oh well#it balances out all the whitewashing#fob cn 2008
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still chipping away at that pjsk major arcana
#proseka tarot#<- so i can find them because god knows this will take a bajillion years#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#honami mochizuki#tarot#IGNORE the way the ferris wheel looks like i know. fucking trust me i know#i realized i colored over all of the lines indicating that honami is sitting on drums and that those are eye things are alsoncymbals. oops.#i have composition ideas for most of the cards now and sketches for all of leoneed and wxs.. my bias shines through#but i hate figuring out values. always. sorry.#actually i have a weirdly clean sketch for kanade and i like the concept of it for her card but somethin about it lookd off to me#like it's boring or the anatomy is wrong or something. maybe if i drew it in with more perspective like i did with honamis#sniffle. anyways thank u revsta relive arcana arcadia for hope charity and faith card ideas and infortmwtion because jesus its hard 2 find#ANYTHING on those 3 cards from the visconti deck. willvisit the library so i can draw gacha game tarot mockups with lore accuracy. gn.#staying up to draw is not noble. take the melatonin.#pry this stupid shade of dark pinkish red out of my cold dead hands btw
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hi beloveds do any of you have any ideas for things that might help with sleep ? i haven’t been able to sleep thru the night for like a week and it’s rly taking a toll on me 🥲
#i tried sleepytime tea & im considering trying melatonin? but i also think ur maybe not supposed to take that if u have autoimmune diseases#and my brain fog is so bad i havent been able to like effectively research stuff at all😭😭#hate it here!!!#0#chronic fatigue
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So... how long till you guys think he notices I stole his jacket again?
#sdv shitposting#man im#scrampled#melatonin gummies didnt kick in all the way#so i got like#maybe a thidr of my brain#i had to triple quarduple check that whole post#eepies#but not able to eep
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so used to staying up all night ki jb allnighter bhi nhi pull krna ho neend doesn't come before 4am 😇
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god idk whats wrong with my brain it doesnt matter how tired i am as soon as i lay down to try and sleep i feel like im having a heart attack and being hunted for sport
#maybe i should try melatonin again#this moving disaster crisis 4 months ago is still not resolved and i start my second semester on the 6th and i just#i need this to be over with!!!!!!! i need to focus on studying but i cant do that when the environment is so hostile and fucked up#i know i could do better if i just didnt have to deal with bullshit 24/7#and of course on top of all of that T Antagonizer is still on their quest tor uin any hope ill have at a mildly happy life im just#im so over it man#25 years of nonstop disaster and only having myself to rely on and constantly being in survival mode im FUCKING OVER IT#i have no time to do anything im passionate abput when i work and am in school full time and theres ALWAYS A PROBLEM#all i have the energy to do when i rarely have free time is watch tv rotting into the couch#quarter life crisis hours are now#as if my entire life hasnt been a crisis#i dont feel passionate about anything these days and it just depresses me more#i just dont have time to be passionate#and yes this is capitalism fault. the abuse. the working myself to death to try and escape the abuse.#no supports to escape. your only option is giving up everything you own and going to a shelter and thats obviously crazy#and dangerous. ive been homeless and pulling yourself back out of it is nearly impossible.#being alive is really not groovy lads ill be honest. im terrified.
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and here come the negative emotions. right on cue...
#i am so exhausted#i wish i had more control over my brain#wish i could do anything other than just steer it in specific directions.#no matter how many times i steer it somewhere else it finds a way back to negativity#i cant hold the reigns forever#i need breaks#but then comes the pain like clockwork#maybe id be happier if i wasnt so damn analytical#constantly putting puzzles together whether i want to or not#whether im right or not#i could pull myself out of this slump right now yknow#easily#snap of my fingers#... but im tired. what would i even do with positive emotions?#idk. idk#i have some melatonin somewhere around here i think.#guess ill take some of that#theres a whole lotta stuff i wish about myself#right now i wish to forget the world for a little while#goodnight. hopefully.#oh yeah#vent
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Ah—
Hello, 2am again...
#hello 2am my old friend#I've come to goof with you again...#too eepy to think of the rest djdnd its been a weird week sleep wise and everything wjth the office party and passport finally getting here#and the government/work insurance thing im gonna need to straighten out before the new year somehow#also headaches and joints so bad this week oh boy#a. maybe. sleep deprivation doesnt help. aight melatonin time
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Why didn't anyone warn me that after a certain age sleep doesn't come easy anymore 😔
#'after a certain age' <- he is 22#maybe it's just me personally doing something wrong and it has nothing to do with age#I just bought some melatonin pills and I'm gonna try combining that with lavender tea#see if that helps#tips and tricks are welcome too#my issue is mostly that it's hard to fall asleep#but#even after I manage that#my sleep is so shallow and my dreams so vivid that I barely feel rested in the morning#I'm also having more nightmares than ever before so that's fun! idk what's up
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I’m going to get nothing done this week except arts and crafts just you wait and see
#petals talks#my final is literally due on Sunday and I have not even started it lmao#at work I’m covering for a million people so I’m just entertaining myself really#I should just write it tomorrow and get it over with#but I know me and I’ll probably end up doing laundry and finishing Christmas gifts#also I should be asleep rn but a headache is keeping me awake#maybe I’ll drug myself with melatonin
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something about that whole incident must have changed something in my brain chemistry cause my insomnia’s gotten bad again
the past few days i’ve getting to sleep at two or three. kinda sucks i guess, but i don’t really want to resort to taking melatonin again
#i took melatonin every night for a year straight and now i get frequent headaches and nightmares every time i sleep#is that the melatonin or is that the year that most of my trauma comes from/when it got worse#hard to say. maybe both. i don’t remember!#and y’know it sucks not being able to go to sleep#because i can’t even read after a certain point#it gets too watery and everywhere and it’s difficult to figure out the words and letters#mmm i did say you wouldn’t be hearing from me until tomorrow#but it’s past midnight here so that’s fine it’s fine#i don’t like tumblr anymore. i don’t like being here anymore#i get scared whenever i get activity now. i get uncomfortable just having the tab open#how pathetic is that?#really pathetic. really fucking pathetic#probably because i know they’re still looking at me and i hate being watched#y’know i have thoughts like ford but the only demon here is my faulty synapses#it feels pathetic. i feel pathetic. i don’t have a reason like he does#and even then people say he doesn’t have enough of a reason#i’m so fucking pathetic
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